Divorce has reached the epidemic stage. Did you know that over a million marriages end in the United States? Multiply that by 10 or 20 and think of the havoc these broken homes are leaving economically and on the children born to these couples who have decided their marriage is no longer worth saving. Imagine the difference if only half of these marriages could be saved? And imagine the difference in your own life if one of those marriages saved was your own.
Is your marriage in trouble? If so, do you think it is possible for your marriage to be saved? No one really knows for sure, but please don’t give up without doing everything you possibly can to save it before giving up and joining the millions of others heading to the divorce course every year.
Here are four steps you can take that will go a long way toward saving your marriage and you can start working on them today.
1. Quit trying to place blame.
If you are honest, you will have to admit there is plenty of blame to go around in your troubled marriage. Trying to heap the blame all on one person or the other isn’t going to help anything—not even if you blame yourself. What is going to help is to start planning how to avoid situations in the future that lend themselves to the “blame game.”
2. Be open to change and take the responsibility to put that change into action.
Even if your spouse claims not to be interested in continuing the relationship, go ahead and institute changes in your own life that may show him or her that the marriage is worth saving, after all.
Examples of such change might be to recognize behaviors in your own life that irritate your spouse and to determine to change those behaviors. If your spouse has behaviors that make you angry, make up your mind that you can and will learn to ignore and perhaps even eventually accept those behaviors just as you might accept the same behavior in a casual acquaintance without comment.
As situations arise that you recognize as causes of conflict, continue to make changes that help you avoid the situations in the first place, or replace the situations with things that are acceptable to both of you..
3. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.
Find an expert in dealing with troubled marriages. If the expert has helped others, he or she can help you, too Too often we are embarrassed to admit the mess we have made of our marriage or we assume that our particular problems are insurmountable. A good marriage counselor has seen far worse cases than yours, and has had success in helping even more troubled marriages than yours.
4. Don’t wait to take action.
The longer you wait to do something about your troubled marriage, the more troubled it will become, so don’t wait. Problems usually don’t go away by themselves, as you can tell by the million divorces every year in the United States, alone.
Can your troubled marriage be saved? Most can if at least one of the involved parties cares enough to take action. Will you be the one in your case?