Maggie stood in the kitchen, wiping her hands on the dishtowel, attempting to contain the irritation threatening to evolve into anger within her. She stared out the window at the wet pile of raked leaves that mounded in the center of the yard. The rake itself leaned against a tree, protected somewhat from the downpour, but after six straight days of rain, she guessed the wood was beginning to swell and the metal beginning to rust. She was at a complete loss as to how to get her husband to finish what he had started, however, after telling him no less than seven times over the last two months. This scene and many like it is repeated over and over in American households every day. This article provides wives some proven methods (when used in combination) of solving the problem of Lazy Husband Syndrome!
Tip #1: Be Appreciative of What He DOES Do
Before Maggie starts complaining and criticizing her husband for his lack of ambition around the house, she needs to first show appreciation for the things her husband actually does every week. If he goes to work or looks for a job every day, she needs to thank him for that. If he is putting away dishes, or making dinner she needs to affirm him for those things.
Tip #2: Be Clear – Be Polite – Be Respectful
If a wife wants work done around the house, she simply needs to ask her husband in a clear, polite, and respectful way – likely the same way he is treated at work. Men are more motivated to do things for people who respect them. Wives, in general, have difficulty learning to speak the language of respect to their husbands. And assuming he knows what is expected of him is seldom useful. A simple, “Are you going to finish taking care of the leaves in the back yard?” without any negative or critical tone is often enough to get the work finished.
Tip #3: Schedule Time
Many husbands rely on their wives to schedule their weekend “free time.” If your husband has a project yet to be completed, let him know, “Honey, would it help you if I take Johnny to soccer this Saturday so that you can have that time to finish the back yard?” Communicating with an attitude of “helping” versus “criticizing” is important.
Tip #4: Yes, “The Answer” is Often More Sex!
Crazy as it may sound, in an anecdotal survey done by therapist Michelle Weiner-Davis, men whose wives initiated and positively responded to sexual advances more frequently had husbands who accomplish more chores around the home – without even being asked! Definitely something to think about!
Bottom Line: To positively impact our husbands, we need to first change our own behaviors to become clear, respectful and positive! When wives act like this, everyone wins!