Proverbs 18:14 (NLT) states “The human spirit can endure a sick body, but who can bear a crushed spirit?”
Because we are wonderfully made, our bodies have the ability to recover and heal from many sicknesses. It is fascinating to see how a sore heals from the inside out. The pain lasts for a relatively short time, but one day you awaken to no pain and no open wound.
But what happens when you have a crushed spirit? How easy is that to bear? Specifically, in marriage, what do you do if your spirit gets crushed?
A crushed spirit can come from being emotionally or mentally harmed. In marriage, a wife can suffer when her husband repeatedly wields insults at her, complains about her body or what she does or doesn’t do, or compares her to another woman who he thinks is a model wife.
There are two crushers that I still have to mention. Damage to a wife’s mental and emotional wellbeing is sustained when she has to deal with her husband’s complaints of her sexual inadequacies. When a woman has children and as she ages, a woman’s body changes dramatically. Hormone levels can lower or even plummet over time. What once seemed like an exciting, effortless task to “get in the mood” for sexual activity may now seem like drudgery.
Generally, husbands don’t quite understand these woes. Some husbands don’t care and expect his wife to turn on her lovemaking as if it’s some type of machine with an on/off switch. This is a subject that will be explored further and separately from this article. But it is necessary to mention it, especially as it relates to the impact it has in crushing a wife’s spirit.
The second spirit crusher in marriage is infidelity. Although there are some wives who step outside of their marriage and have affairs, the focus for this topic is a wife’s concern for her husband’s infidelity. Every insecurity a woman can have comes to the surface and spills over when her man turns his heart, attention and time to another woman.
The thoughts are cluttered and scattered. The emotions and feelings are raw, unpredictable and sometime volatile. It literally hurts to hurt when a husband is unfaithful. Even for a Christian wife, her spirit can feel trampled on, irreparably damaged, and rotten to the core. She has a crushed spirit.
It may seem that the jabs don’t stop. Pretty soon, you feel like you’ve been knocked out and have no energy or willpower left to stand up again to take another blow. It may even feel like your husband has sucked all the life out of you. You have a crushed spirit.
But ladies, you do have a fight in you. In many cases, there are things that you can still do to heal your crushed spirit and save your marriage. God sends you rescue through various forms. Prayer and meditation are extremely helpful. You should never stop praying for your husband and marriage.
Additionally, it is advantageous to seek the assistance of a professional who is experienced in working with marital issues. Intimacy and infidelity concerns are tough issues that many couples are ill-equipped to deal with alone. Be the Christian wife who seeks to resurrect the romance and save the marriage!