With the increasing rate of divorce many people are worried about saving their marriage. It is not unusual to find people who have opted not to marry and simply decided to cohabit as they fear that getting married will only make them vulnerable to divorce. Being married myself these questions have highly bothered me but I was determined to find a way to divorce proof my marriage. Below are some tips to do so.
1. Communication is key: Say exactly what’s on your mind and don’t leave the other guessing. It is better to tell someone what exactly you want them to know, rather than assume they know and that goes even for sex. Also be mindful of the timing. Give them some time to eat and rest after a tiring day at work before bringing up any issues. Usually it is best not to talk about issues after 9 p.m.
2. Be quick to apologize whether you are on the right or not. Being at peace and in harmony is more important than being right.
3. Put your spouse’s interests ahead of yours. Do to others what you would like others to do unto you. For example make meals first to please them. Cook the way they like and what they like Not necessarily the way you like. Even if it means cooking two meals it is worth the effort to keep your marriage.
4. Create memories together. Find common interests and invest some time in them weekly. Maybe a weekly dinner out or going to the movies just the two of you. Just find some time to be alone together at least once a week to keep the flame burning
5. Do the best you can to stay attractive, be it at home or when you are out. Be clean, well dressed and well-groomed. Remember what attracted you to the other in the first place and keep that going. Many people make the mistake of neglecting their appearance after marriage. That is a great marriage killer.
6. Be committed to your marriage. A good marriage takes time and hard work. Do not find excuses to quit on your marriage and do not use the children as an excuse to avoid your spouse. Also avoid using the D word (divorce) as a threat every time something goes wrong.
7. Read marriage books and see marriage counselors if necessary but remember that no amount of counseling or information you get will be of help unless you are completely determined to make your marriage successful by making it a priority.
8. Avoid nagging. No one likes a spouse who exasperates him or her. Say something once or twice and leave it at that.
9. Esteem each other above yourself. Give your spouse compliments both in public and private. Men should open doors for their spouses and pull chairs for them. Speak highly of each other and never argue in front of the kids.
10. If you want to be really bold, let lovemaking be more about pleasing your spouse rather than deriving pleasure for yourself. You will be amazed at the satisfaction you get as you strive to please your spouse.
This is by no means an exhaustive list of tips to save your marriage but they have worked well in mine and are a good place to start. They are useful not only for married couples but for any one in a love relationship.