How to stay happy in marriage can be a difficult question to answer because there are so many problems and issues that need to be overcome in any marriage that are totally unique and sometimes need to be approached in different ways. There is however one simple tip to marital bliss that you can apply in nearly all situations!
What is this tip that can apply to all sorts of marital difficulties including money, sex, relatives, responsibilities and more?
Throw away the scorecard!
What is a scorecard? This is the mental tally we all are guilty of keeping from time to time of hurt feelings and revenge. When your spouse yells at you; you remember it and add it to the scorecard. When you find they have shirked their household duties; you remember it and add another. When your spouse buys another set of expensive clothes without consultation; you remember and tick another box.
What do we think this achieves? Some think it is just important to know about issues in a relationship and this is true but mostly what we do with these scorecards is try to make it even.
Your partner yells at you, you yell back or you do something to hurt them. Your husband does not do the dishes again so you do not iron his clothes. Your wife buys another set of shoes without telling you so you feel entitled to go on a late night drinking spree with the boys.
Is this how to stay happy in marriage? Perhaps you can see the answer …
There is one thing to remember with marital scorecards. They do not solve anything. They do not bring about change. They just start a cycle of revenge, poor communication and emotional blackmail and what makes it even worse is your spouse never knows YOUR tally and you do not know THEIRS either. This means you will never get even and you never should.