There is probably no one who is subject to such bad publicity as mother in laws. And there is a reason for it, they can be very interfering, annoying and over bearing! On top of all of this they often time ruin beautiful marriages. The new member in the family is always affected by her presence, hence the hardship and struggle for the wife/husband of her son/daughter.
However there are ways to lessen their bad effect on you and on your marriage. In this article I’m going to show you 3 ways to feel less intimidated by your mother in law.
1. Stop mind reading. Whenever you meet your slim mother in law she seems to eye you from head to toe and noticing the extra weight that you are trying so hard to take off. It drives you crazy. She doesn’t say anything but you KNOW what she is thinking and so you don’t like being around her. She feels it and… Well, it doesn’t make for a real close relationship
What to do about this? Well firstly realize that it might not be true. Like I always tell people, “Leave the mind reading for psychics and stage magicians.”
“But I know this is what she is thinking”, you say to yourself. Really? Think back at times that you were SURE that someone was thinking “this or that” and it turned out you were off the mark.
If you think and continue telling yourself that she thinks ill of you, YOU are the one who makes your life worst. (Sorry to break it to you.) Those looks cannot kill you, but your thoughts will.
The best thing that you can do is start a conversation with her. You wanted to know what is behind that look for sure. All you need to do is ask. If you will ask, it won’t definitely kill you; rather, it will kill your thoughts and make your life easier than ever.
2. Re-interpret her annoying and humiliating stares. Think of different ways to interpret what she does. Even if you don’t think that is really what they are thinking, try to come up with 3 to 5 semi-plausible ideas. (She is really a nice lady but she is practicing for the part of Wicked Witch of the West, does not count).
As we all know, there are different means and ways to kill chickens. This is also true with interpreting in laws’ actions. You have to think of different options or interpretations of why she is acting that way. The more choices you can list, the better solutions you can find. But of course the best way to do it is to have an in-depth conversation with. You might be surprised to know that she is not out to get you, rather, she wanted to help you to keep in shape. She just didn’t know how to say it to you.
3. Go with HER flow. What is harder a stone or water? A stone, right? Did you ever think, then, why is that when the stone hits the water, the water swallows up the stone? The answer is that when you don’t fight back the hard things just falls right into your hands!
It’s the same with your mother in law. If she keeps on looking at you and you think it is because of your weight, for instance, don’t deny it but simply say, “You know Ma (or whatever you call her) I was thinking about my weight recently. I’m trying so hard to loss it; I just can’t seem to do it!”
The point is that if you agree with what they say then they just get swallowed up and you are the winner. It is a nice way of telling them that they are absolutely right without losing face.
Losing weight is not always an easy thing to do. It is difficult and a good support system can be of great help. If you could it with the help of your in laws, it will be wonderful. This can be a good way to start your healthy relationship with her.
It is very common to feel intimidated by your mother in law. They are very good at making you feel bad. However, implement these three ideas; stop mind reading, re-interpret her annoying and humiliating stares, and go with her flow and you will lessen those bad feeling.