Sustaining first love in marriage is a great task that married couples must face for the success and happiness of their marriage. It is easily abandoned as a result of other marital pressures or challenges. First love in marriage, if sustained, is like oil that makes the marriage run smoothly. The relationship will be fresh every day. Couples will always enjoy their companionship when they sustain their first love for each other.
Many people wonder why marriages crash after the lavish of adoration, fondness, devotion and passion during courtship and honeymoon. The simple reason is that those fantasies which brought and held them together were not maintained or retained. It takes sheer determination to maintain them – determination that over-rides every contending factor which will want to puncture those fantasies. I call them fantasies because love, which embodies adoration, fondness, devotion and passion, is nothing but impression. Yes, impression in the mind that something is good for you and you desire it, and sometimes, get it.
Impression is sustained by memories. So, first love in marriage should be sustained by the fond memories of courtship and honeymoon days. Your marriage should be growing stronger in love instead of depreciating. After all, old wine tastes better, they say. The more you stay together, the more you understand yourselves. And you are expected to use the understanding to build a stronger and more affectionate relationship.
Here are some tips to help you recover and sustain your first love in marriage.
* Remember what you used to call your partner during the courtship or honeymoon. That pet name, return to it. Some abandon the pet name of their spouses immediately they get their first baby or as they grow older in the marriage. They allow either their baby’s name or their spouse first name to take over the pet name.
* Remember also the passion that led to the adoption of the pet name in the first instance. Never allow monotony to set-in in your marriage. Relive that passion daily and your marriage will be fresh everyday.
* Stay as close as you used to be in the beginning. Desire the presence of each other all the time. Employment or any other activities should not put you apart.
* Make exchange of gifts a regular feature in your marriage. Keep dairies of important dates in your lives. Such dates as birthdays, wedding anniversaries, graduations, your first meeting etc should be celebrated yearly.
* Remember your first meeting from time to time and tell your partner how his or her entrance into your life has been a blessing.
* Learn to cuddle yourselves regularly.
* Make out time for holidays and sightseeing together.
* Relive your honeymoon by spending some holidays alone without the children.