We have heard of many people who jump into marriage quickly without fully understanding and realizing the seriousness of this way of life. Feeling so much in love, many young couples stop there and say “Nothing else matters as long as we are together.”
Does this sound familiar?
The next thing we know, some of them have separated. Why? Didn’t they just say ” as long as we’re together?” From this statement alone, it seemed that both have not been properly informed and counseled what marriage is all about and their roles as husband and wife.
When the honeymoon is over, reality sets in.
Marriage is not a game or a playhouse. It is the union of husband and wife. Through their love for one another, they have taken the step to live their lives together forming a family. Therefore an important aspect that a couple must take in marriage is responsibility. Marriage means responsibility.
We have met wives who are separated and who said that their marriage failed because her husband was irresponsible. We asked them in what way were they irresponsible? One response is that the husband just delegates his responsibilities to his wife. For example, he lets the wife work and take care of the finances while he just stays comfortably at home. Another said that the husband would run away from problems instead of facing them and finding solutions. Another one cannot handle the responsibility of taking care of children.
This happens vice versa when the wife too does not live up to her role as a wife and mother.
Haven’t you heard parents say to their children “You must be responsible in doing your homework” meaning, ” it is your duty.” In a similar way, husbands and wives expect the other to be responsible as a spouse and parent. When this does not happen, problems start to occur between them. We will start to hear the words “How irresponsible can you get!” “You should have done this or that!” Each one will start to blame the other.
Where there is love, one only thinks of the other therefore takes full responsibility to make his marriage work. Because of love, both husband and wife will then understand their respective roles and help each other concretize it. Marriage means responsibility.
Love does not delegate everything to the other but there is reciprocity between the spouses. Love even extends one’s responsibility outward. It extends a helping hand. Love makes one accountable to the other. Love not only makes them responsible spouses but even makes them responsible parents.
Let responsibility not be a chore but a joy because it is an expression of love. It has that sense of ownership where both spouse now feel, “I have a family to take care of.”
However, one cannot expect the other to be responsible if he or she is not one. He must first be an example to the other. In the same manner towards their children for children watch what their parents do.
If couples do not have an entire picture about marriage and their role as married couples, it would be best that they get counseling on this or get proper information. This is to avoid causes that can lead to separation.
Responsibility is key to a successful marriage because it is a result of love. Marriage means responsibility. And one can feel the joy of being a fulfilled spouse and parent.