Never In A Million Years – A 2-Pronged Approach to Habit Change


There are things we want to do, behaviors we want to adopt, and there are things we want to stop doing. And it seems the conscious, rational, analytical part of the mind is not up to the task of putting these changes into effect long-term. If the conscious mind could handle change easily and effectively, there’d be no unwanted habits, no “addictions,” no smokers, no overweight, and so on.

Trying to THINK our way out of specific habituated behavior sets is like trying to dig a trench with a teaspoon. Not very fast. Not very effective. The right tools for the right project make all the difference.

We in the fields of hypnotherapy and Neuro-Linguistic Programming know and use the power of the UNconscious mind. It’s the part of the mind “back behind the curtain” which truly runs the show. This is where we direct our work. It’s the control room of our thinking, feeling, and doing. It is the warehouse of our accumulated strategies of life and how we live it.

People say quitting tobacco is harder to quit than cocaine. (It’s easier than you think.) People believe they have to “struggle” against alcohol their entire lives (False.) People have resorted to medical surgeries in order to control their food intake. (There are better ways, that are au naturel.) People feel they need drugs to sleep. (The actual pharmacy is located in your brain.)

NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) is about creating ideal states of mind/body to facilitate and accomplish any task. In one facet of NLP, we customize and manufacture emotion and attach to projects. Feelings and emotions such as motivation, confidence, and energy are available to us. Highly effective!

Here’s my “Never In a Millions Years” two-pronged approach, in a nutshell. Some people are driven towards wanting to feel good. Some people are driven away from feeling bad. With my approach, we put both together.

Dr. Richard Bandler, the co-creator of NLP has said: “Good feelings, good decisions. Bad feelings, bad decisions.” I’ve changed it up somewhat. “Good feelings, good decisions, bad feelings, good decisions.” I want a client to feel so good in the moment (the various decision points) that the behavior never triggers. There’s no urge to do it, and it doesn’t even enter their thinking. And, I want to attach such negativity to the habit itself that it becomes an automatic “no.” “Never in a million years.”

With NLP, Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the services I’ve trademarked, called “Designer Feelings®,” this is actually very easy to do. And fun!

What are the good feelings which change behaviors? It’s different for every person. We figure that out and create together. What are the bad feelings which change behaviors? It’s different for every person. We figure that out and create together.

Here’s the premise of the negative side, “Never in a million years!” We find something in a person’s life which is an automatic “No! I don’t do that. I wouldn’t do that. Never!” Here are some examples I’ve heard in my work: get a swastika tattooed on their forehead (No!), eat liver (No!), jump off a cliff with a toy parachute (No!). We capture that response, bottle it, and then attach to the unwanted and non-useful habit.

When the attachment is successful, the unconscious mind makes a new connection: “This is like that!” And, suddenly, the unwanted habit generates the same responses. No! We have a name for this process, it’s called “learning.”

Quitting smoking and other changes can absolutely be this quick. The right tools for the right project. Fingernail biting. No! Too much sugar. No! Procrastination. No! Negative self-talk. No! Too much alcohol. No! Insomnia. No! Plus, at the same time, we attach good feelings to the absence of the habit. Old unwanted habits dissolve, new positive habits form.


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