If problems within a relationship start to dominate the beautiful moments, something must happen. Relationship problems will keep getting worse due to relationship problems.
Relationship therapy can offer a solution, but what can you expect from therapy? First, try our 6 tips to take big steps towards a happy relationship.
Most people are not open to relationship therapy. How can someone else tell you what you are doing wrong in your relationship? Yet it can offer a solution. It is better to put your shoulders to the wheel first. First, acknowledge that there are relationship problems and then work on them to resolve them.
When can you consider relationship therapy?
You do not instantly discuss relationship problems with others. Making the move to relationship therapy will not be open to most couples the moment they discover they have a problem.
Also logically, only you can solve it. In an extreme case, you should consider getting help in the form of relationship therapy, but for most people, it is a last resort. If you have already tried all the ways to solve it yourself, an appointment can be made for relationship therapy, but don’t expect miracles.
Does relationship therapy work?
Opinions are divided on this and it will also differ per person. A first requirement is that you must be open to it. There is no point in going to relationship therapy with a negative expectation. British research shows that relationship therapy promotes a relationship breakdown. From the therapies the couples with relationship problems get the feeling that they have failed.
Having therapy would give the feeling that the relationship has already ended, the study shows. What also plays a role in this is the fact that partners only go into relationship therapy if the relationship can no longer be saved.
Whether it will work for you is a matter of trying. To prevent a break, it is worth considering. Try to solve the relationship problems first with our 6 tips.
Relationship problems must be solved at home
It is difficult for someone else to explain where the frustrations lie within a relationship. You have created the relationship problems yourself, then solve them yourself. This sounds very simple, but unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way. The problems have arisen very gradually, they also have to be remedied in small steps. Do not expect results within a few weeks.
It is a matter of investing time and compromising. Read a lot about it and try to learn from the experiences of other people who have experienced the same. Don’t wait too long to regain pleasure in your relationship. Once a break has occurred, it is difficult to repair it again.
No relationship therapy, but finding the solution yourself – 6 tips
Before you let a therapist tell you how to change the mutual relationship, you can first try to solve the problems that arise. With the 6 tips we give below, it is necessary that the problems are first recognized by both. Then it is important to talk a lot about it.
This is the only way to improve the mutual relationship. By talking we do not mean discussing the planning of tomorrow or discussing issues concerning the children. It must mainly be conversations about feelings.
Tip # 1: Ask yourself the question: “Is there still a future together?”
Some relationships are doomed to fail. An example of this is flashing light relationships. Partners who have broken the relationship several times will have a greater chance that the relationship will not last in the long term. Before working on the relationship, it is important that you both first state that it is still worthwhile to go for it. If one of them no longer sees the relationship, it is better to stop immediately. In case of doubts, there are still possibilities.
Tip # 2: Make a list of objections and discuss it
You have admitted to each other that there are relationship problems. The next step is to make it clear to each other where the objections and irritations lie. You both have to make a list of problems that you can discuss. It should not be reproachful, but you should list where you think the pain points lie within the relationship. You can discuss the points in a relaxed conversation. One point is made alternately. The content of the problem must be discussed per point.
The list does not have to be completed in one go. Try to go through all the points carefully. Your partner must understand well where the pain lies for you. You pass on the points that have not been discussed to the next meeting. Don’t start rattling all points one after the other. You should not give your partner the feeling that he/she only has bad qualities.
An additional tip is to make a list of positive points from your partner once. What are his / her qualities? This is nice to hear once.
Tip # 3: Forgive your partner’s mistakes
Major mistakes in a relationship can be crucial. The best example of this is cheating. This is very difficult for the partner to process. Your relationship must be very strong to survive to cheat. Is the relationship not being broken by cheating? Then it is important to work on your relationship. It will take a lot of time to restore the breach of trust. Ultimately, cheating must be forgiven. The future will show whether it will be possible to forgive the mistake. For your joint future, it is necessary that it will succeed.
Tip # 4: Take care of old things to continue
Some issues from the past are not discussed, but there is resentment between the partners. These can be things that the partner thinks has long been forgiven and forgotten. Talk about it to give it a place. It will provide relief by talking about it among themselves. Try to talk about it one more time.
Tip # 5: Try to find a solution to the biggest problem
Relationship problems are often an accumulation of major and minor reproaches. As soon as you end up in a negative spiral, it will quickly go downhill. Frustration brings many more problems.
If there are relationship problems you do not have to address all problems. To begin with, it is best to first try to solve the biggest problem. You must first find out what the biggest problem is. Focus on this to solve the problem.
It will often be difficult to choose the biggest problem. In that case, it is advisable to select two. Each of the partners chooses one.
Tip # 6: Rediscover each other in bed
What is more fun than making up for a fight in bed? You can also work on relationship problems with good sex. This brings you closer together. A logical consequence is that there will also be more tolerance between both partners. It is difficult to get dissatisfied partners that far. The atmosphere is not that bad.
Buy some sex toys at an online sex shop or go to the city together to buy attributes and lingerie. Sex may not be the solution to the problem, but many small reproaches will disappear if both partners have better and more frequent sex.
Unable to solve it yourself? Try relationship therapy anyway
Wouldn’t it be possible to get closer to each other? Before you take drastic steps, it never hurts to try relationship therapy. Request an introductory meeting to see if it is for you. It must feel good in the first conversation, otherwise, it makes no sense to the therapist in question.
You must then give it time. A few sessions will not clear the sky yet. It is a process that must be followed. Both partners must be open to relationship therapy.