How do I get my wife to love me again? It’s a serious question that unfortunately many men have to ask at some point. When you live with someone every day you quickly learn how to read between the lines of what they do and say. There’s a definite and undeniable shift when a woman begins to fall out of love with her husband. She’ll no longer desire the physical closeness she once did, the words, “I love you” will often become a thing of the past and the wish to spend time as a couple, just doing everyday things will no longer be there. If you’re a man who is living in a marriage in which this is happening right now, you’re bound to question where the relationship is headed. You’re also going to want to know whether the broken connection between you and the woman you love can be healed. It absolutely can be. Before you give in and decide that the relationship can’t be saved, consider the simple things you can do now that will ultimately impact the bond you have with your wife.
Spend Time Devoted Strictly to Your Marriage
Do you remember back to when you and your wife were first married? Looking back on that time now you’re likely going to realize how simple everything was. In many marriages, both partners worked in the early days and then they devoted their evenings and weekends to mutual pursuits. As time grabs hold of a marriage many things can change. This is especially true when children become part of the family and when one, or both, partners set out on a quest to capture the ideal career. There is always a trade-off when a marriage shifts to a new place and often, that trade-off becomes the close bond that the couple once shared. It’s not uncommon for many married couples to one day come to the realization that they are no longer lovers and best friends, but are now sporting the hats of co-parents and roommates.
The only way to change this is to put some concentrated and thoughtful effort into it. If you allow your marriage to continue down the same path that it’s on now, you and your wife will never recapture the loving connection you once had. That’s why you must look at this as the most important project of your life. You have to sit down, and work out a plan that allows you the opportunity to not only spend more one-on-one time with your wife, but also spend that time showing her what a gift she is to you.
Ask Your Wife What She Needs From You
Most men prefer not to dive headfirst into conversations about emotions and the problems in their marriage. However, this is one time when it’s imperative if you hope to get your wife to feel close to you again. This doesn’t have to be an awkward exchange between you two and you don’t have to end up in an emotional argument. You should approach your wife in a compassionate way with the idea of talking about what is going on in your marriage and what you both want from it.
You need to set the tone for this so do it at a time when you feel exceptionally strong. Do it in a setting in which you won’t be interrupted. You must rely on every ounce of patience and understanding you have during this discussion and it’s important that you listen and be open to any suggestions, whether they be critical or not, that your wife shares with you.
Encourage her to tell you what she feels right now about the marriage and about you. Reiterate the fact that you’re not trying to start any sort of conflict, but instead you’re looking for a solution that will enrich your marriage and get it back on a positive and loving track.
Take What You Learn From Your Spouse and Use It
If your wife does share with you what she feels you need to do to contribute more to the happiness of your marriage, try not to take a defensive stance. Instead, see it as a lesson in what you can do to become the husband that she needs you to be.
Women, in general, find a great deal of comfort and satisfaction in very simple things. Your wife may just need the knowledge that you still care for her. You can show her that by telling her verbally how you feel, by writing her a heartfelt letter, or even by sending her a text message in the middle of the day expressing how excited you are to see her.
If your wife’s life is very hectic, consider helping her by taking on some tasks to lesson her workload. By cooking dinner occasionally, taking the children to the park so your wife has some alone time or even tackling the laundry, you’ll be showing your wife that you value her and her time.
Hold her hand more, give her a gentle shoulder rub when she’s feeling tense and bring her a surprise gift every now and again, even if it’s just a single carnation in her favorite color. Any small gesture like this speaks volumes about how deeply you appreciate and care for her.
By putting more effort into your marriage, you can effectively shift the dynamic so your wife once again feels emotionally bonded to you. Don’t view this as a quick fix but more of a transition toward a more fulfilling marriage for you both. If you love your wife and the marriage is the most important thing to you, get busy showing her that.