It is often a part of the male ego to want to be someone’s hero. Married men, for example, usually look at themselves as the one who should provide for the family, the one who should provide solutions to problems and take care of the family’s needs. And when he feels comfortable that he has fulfilled all that is in the “specifications” of a good husband and father, he usually starts thinking that he deserves a break, too.
Oftentimes this break comes in the form of late nights out with beer buddies or simply sitting in front of the TV with a six pack and just watching the latest football game till he falls asleep. Not a nice picture, actually. Now how do wives usually take this kind of behavior? Some may just bear it and get used to it, some will complain, while others will secretly plan an escape.
Through time, the superhero will develop a beer pouch and will probably wonder whatever happened to that wife of his who used to be a damsel in distress, and now suddenly looks like a female warrior, who is often after his throat? Something happened and he can’t figure it out.
Does this sound familiar to you? Do you find yourself wondering whatever happened to that perfect picture of wedded bliss you had in mind when you proposed to your wife of twenty years? Well, have you ever paused to think if your wife is wondering the same? You may never hear what is going on in her mind, which is probably constantly telling herself that this is not what she expected the way marriage would turn out to be?
When expectations are not being met, both partners will end up being frustrated, and criticisms will start firing against each other. Fights will be frequent and sooner or later, the love will start slipping away, and will be replaced by disgust, anger and even hatred.
It is never too late, however to examine what is missing in your relationship that has turned it into something bland and unexciting. Drifting apart because of the busy everyday schedule can easily happen, but if you and your spouse are committed to make your marriage work, it will be easy to spot trouble early enough, before the relationship goes beyond repair.
Find a reason to celebrate your love and your marriage, even without an occasion. Be spontaneous in showering your wife the love and affection that she still craves for, even after many years of being married. One does not overcome the need to be hugged and adored. Instead of being critical of the smallest things, show you appreciate the way your wife is taking care of your needs and your kids’ through sweet, sincere words and small gestures of kindness.
Turning your marriage into a happy relationship is not that difficult, for as long as you start thinking of your wife’s needs and desires. Look at her with a new sense of wonderment, and try to remember the early days of your courtship and romance. Fill up your days together with love and patience, and you’ll soon regain that hero worship that your wife once felt for you. Marital bliss is still yours for the taking, for as long as you stop neglecting your wife and being more considerate of her needs.